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My "friend" took advantage of me when I was in the hospital
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This is the first red flag. We're okay with you staying there, but we never said anything about your boyfriend. It's already stressful enough to have someone staying at your place, but then inviting someone else to stay there that you don't know at all? That's crossing a line. But what else can you do when you're already out? There's not much she could have done, and if she pushed too hard, she might have lost her only cat sitter.
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Oh, right, because they helped so much already? There's messy, and then there's dirty. Messy is not putting your dirty clothes in the laundry hamper, or leaving the dishes out to clean them the next day. These people are dirty. And being dirty, especially in someone else's house, is frankly pawsitively disrespectful.
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